The Descent and the Resurrection
After I had my son in 2012, I had a very hard time emotionally in regards to finding my purpose in life. The experience of having a child and all the physical changes that had taken place in my body left me completely raw emotionally. This rawness was magnified by my realization that I was not happy with where I was in my life professionally. I felt this way because I had not followed my dreams/passions.
When I was younger I LOVED to dance! I started off taking ballet classes and branched off into other forms of dance as I got older. I was even drawn to workouts that would naturally appeal to a dancer like yoga and pilates. Even though I knew what I was passionate about, the thought of turning it into a career was not realistic to me at the age of 18. Fast forward to 2012, I was 30 years old, a new mom and completely regretting my decision to not pursue dance professionally.
This regret weighed heavily on me because I am a creative person and that part of me was dying. I knew that I had to find a way to express myself creatively. So I decided to do some soul-searching. What else could I do that would allow me to be creative and inspire others simultaneously? I asked myself some questions that required me to keep it real with myself. The end result is this blog Blissfully Blossoming Beauty. I combined some of my other passions for writing, fashion, and beauty so that I could talk about the things I love and inspire others to do the same. And I still have not given up on dance! I just readjusted my approach.
If there is a goal, dream or passion that is dying in your mind it’s time to resurrect it! Think about your reasons for wanting to pursue this goal in the first place. For me, dance and blogging are ways to express myself. Specifically, being able to share pieces of myself with readers through these Soul Gems makes me feel good to know that someone may be encouraged by my life experiences. What is it about your goal that stands out to you? Knowing why you are drawn to something can put things into perspective. It can push you to be more aggressive and direct in your pursuits.
I also thought about the things that held me back from pursuing my passion to dance initially. At the top of the list were my irrational fears. I thought I was not good enough, skinny enough, skilled enough to make it in a world of dancers who, at that time, looked nothing like me. The pressure I felt to follow a more traveled path was another factor that influenced my decision to not dance. Although I knew that I could study dance in college, I was nervous about what others would think. I did not want to deal with questions about why I choose to study dance. But guess what, people are gonna have questions about what you’re doing regardless of what it is. People will not always understand why you choose a certain path and that is okay. It is not for them to understand because they are not living your life.
If you can not stop thinking about a goal, task, passion, business idea or whatever it may be then you owe it to yourself to find a way to make it happen. Maybe you can no longer do exactly what you once wanted to do but don’t lose hope. Think of ways to rework your idea. Find avenues to express whatever it is that makes you unique. Once you’ve settled on a direction to go in, now it’s time to set some goals to help you get there. I like to use SMART goals as a guide to assess the goals that I set for myself.
How SMART are your goals?
SMART is an acronym for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time- bound. These words can be swapped out with other words that are more relatable to you but the end goal is to have a system that you can use to carry out your plan.
When using SMART the process should look something like the following:
- Specific – Be very clear with yourself about what you want to accomplish and everything that it will take to get there. Don’t be too hard on yourself though – this is a time to dream. Everything starts in the mind, so create your future with your dreams.
- Measurable – Create a plan of quantifiable actions that you can use to keep track of your progress toward your goal. For example, make a To Do list that you can check off as you move forward.
- Achievable – Be honest with yourself about how realistic your goal is. What resources do you need to accomplish what you have set out to do. You may need to make adjustments at this point but continue to have faith in yourself and what could be.
- Relevant – Does this goal line up with who you are and what you’re about. Do you truly want to put in the effort to achieve it? If you are dreading the necessary work, this may not be an authentic goal of your own.
- Time-bound – This is pretty simple but it is probably the most important. Create a timeframe to carry out and complete each necessary task to reach your goal. The timeframe should be fairly soundproof unless you need to alter it for reasons beyond your control.
Remember, you are in charge of your destiny. Make a decision to change your life and your life will change. It might not be a huge change but little changes add up to something big if you keep going. Make the decision to keep going, just make sure your actions are SMART.